I wonder why she called.

--
But you.. you know.. you were my favourite.

Short, simple and beautiful Sketch. An econical delight of style and function: this is the type of thing I really like to see.

And check the 'blend' trick, here; " this is not what i wanted i wanted to hear your voice but not your tears not your sobs not your cries but i'm so glad you called me so glad i could help so glad you're comforted "- just nice. You switch up grammatical form and structure to give it a more free formed impact, a rush. The effect is subtle but relevant. I love it.

Couple all of this with excellent formatting (yesssssssh! I'm so glad you changed - all of your work is so VIVID these days ! Fun to read ! ) ~ and you've got a real jewel here.

I wish I could fav this. *sigh*
[All of my favs these days arent necessarily true *favs*. In my end run, I've been using that space to chose images which emphasize the points made in my stories. Which.. leaves me rather ..'fav-less'..on a personal level. Grr. I almost wish I hadn't started that up. Now I have to keep it up for flavor, impact and form.]
But yes -- this I liked that much.

~~> And I want to add something. About the essence of critique; If I were a hammerhead-shark about this I would say that the ending is cliche. I saw it coming a mile away.

-but-

I'm a dolphin.

Sometimes you go with what is predictible because it is also what is right. This work ends the way *it should*. Sure - you could top off a bananna-split with some asparagus -- if you want to try to impress everyone with *sophistication and ooh-aint-it-deep*. But that's art for all the wrong reasons. It's fancy - but it's not edible.
Here, a cherry is what the situation called for - and that's what you gave it. And it's the right way to flow.

I love this work Master Sketch. You're a force of nature these days, bro'

Swing away...


Brother-in-arms,
[Tivius]

--
Dream forever

The rush you described was the reason I wrote the poem. The thought struck me like a mallet to the head, and I just had to write.

This ending wasn't the first ending I had, nor was it the best ending I had, but it is the one I wanted. Good call on it all: appreciate your critiques more than your compliments, as always (not that the compliments don't just make me glow).

--
The definition of a poet: [link]
-(HOOKILLSILENTLY)-
I am Hook. But I am not silent.

Just drama. But why doesn't matter so much as she did.

--
The definition of a poet: [link]
-(HOOKILLSILENTLY)-
I am Hook. But I am not silent.

I guess thats true.
*Relates*

--
But you.. you know.. you were my favourite.

I know, Bunny! Sketch is bad-ass and a half, hunh ?

I actually find myself learning forward in my seat when I read his stuff. Killer.

Yeah he is!

((I DO TOO!!!heart racing as well, my eyes trying to go faster than I can read so I can just eat it all up!!))

--
Dream forever

Did you purposely leave out the 'r' in surprise?

--
Comment allez-vous ce soir? Je suis comme ci comme ça.

With love,

Allie